Hi! As you can see I'm obviously completely new to Wine. I'd like to install it, but I can't find a download for mac.
http://www.davidbaumgold.com/tutorials/wine-mac/
Macports is a good way to go... as is explained in the link already given. Just remember that normal Wine usage on Mac OS X is all compile yourself and run command line. Other alternatives (which are not supported here, as they have different interfaces, etc...) are listed on the Third Party page (http://wiki.winehq.org/ThirdPartyApplications)... like Crossover (http://www.codeweavers.com/) and Wineskin (http://wineskin.doh123.com/).