For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an alternative plan: The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS working with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really should just go ahead and do it: From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to keep your email server running. I don't think there's really any further reason for me to provide commercial support. Probably the whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as well, so I might as well stop posting there. If you have any problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go away. If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more stones. Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities. A small email server will be happy enough with a single small Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll likely need. This is because most people are rather unhappy with their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their surroundings, including their email servers. To overcome this negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy, which the Dovecot stones will provide you. The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you lay your eyes upon their physical being. The images provided here unfortunately don't do justice to them. http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home desktop running all day every day. I have NEVER broken a single hard drive in my life. I don't even bother to keep backups, because I KNOW it is useless for me. A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.
Timo Sirainen schrieb:> A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.=)
Am 31.03.2012 23:28, schrieb Timo Sirainen:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an alternative plan: > > The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS working with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really should just go ahead and do it: > > From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to keep your email server running. I don't think there's really any further reason for me to provide commercial support. Probably the whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as well, so I might as well stop posting there. If you have any problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go away. If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more stones. Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities. > > A small email server will be happy enough with a single small Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll likely need. This is because most people are rather unhappy with their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their surroundings, including their email servers. To overcome this negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy, which the Dovecot stones will provide you. > > The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you lay your eyes upon their physical being. The images provided here unfortunately don't do justice to them. > > http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home desktop running all day every day. I have NEVER broken a single hard drive in my life. I don't even bother to keep backups, because I KNOW it is useless for me. > > A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.Hi Timo, perhaps the ghosts in the machines will now be very happy starting eat such bricks starting in the magical Ides of April so lets pray you ll never get out of Jedi power to bless the stones finally i am looking for a stone interface , meanwhile holy rays might have power enough, preparing them near the servers in the datacenter where i allready have prisoned evil trolls -- Best Regards MfG Robert Schetterer Germany/Munich/Bavaria
Nice ;-) On 31.03.2012, at 23:28, Timo Sirainen wrote:> A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.And sorry for the previous Mail. Mail.app from Apple isn't the best program ;-) Regards, Michael
W dniu 2012-03-31 23:28, Timo Sirainen pisze:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an alternative plan: > > The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS working with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really should just go ahead and do it: > > From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to keep your email server running. I don't think there's really any further reason for me to provide commercial support. Probably the whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as well, so I might as well stop posting there. If you have any problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go away. If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more stones. Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities. > > A small email server will be happy enough with a single small Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll likely need. This is because most people are rather unhappy with their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their surroundings, including their email servers. To overcome this negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy, which the Dovecot stones will provide you. > > The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you lay your eyes upon their physical being. The images provided here unfortunately don't do justice to them. > > http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home desktop running all day every day. I have NEVER broken a single hard drive in my life. I don't even bother to keep backups, because I KNOW it is useless for me. > > A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.Hello! I'm using dovecot on vps, how can i use dovecot stone? Is it enough to use photo of stone as boot splash or should i start dovecot with LD_PRELOAD="/path_to_photo.jpg"?
Quoting Timo Sirainen <tss at iki.fi>:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what > it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems > reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to > bring up an alternative plan: > > The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be > better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS > working with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, > planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really > should just go ahead and do it: > > From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones > (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to > keep your email server running. I don't think there's really any > further reason for me to provide commercial support. Probably the > whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as > well, so I might as well stop posting there. If you have any > problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go > away. If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your > problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more > stones. Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks > to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities. > > A small email server will be happy enough with a single small > Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll > likely need. This is because most people are rather unhappy with > their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their > surroundings, including their email servers. To overcome this > negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy, > which the Dovecot stones will provide you. > > The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials > available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find > in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication > towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you > lay your eyes upon their physical being. The images provided here > unfortunately don't do justice to them. > > http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home > desktop running all day every day. I have NEVER broken a single > hard drive in my life. I don't even bother to keep backups, because > I KNOW it is useless for me. > > A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized > stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large > stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to > buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a > larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited > number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our > neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated > in advance.I'm unable to locate the order page. Or should I reply to the maillist with my creditcard info?
On 2012-03-31 5:28 PM, Timo Sirainen <tss at iki.fi> wrote:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it > really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I > think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an > alternative plan: > > The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be > better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS working > with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, planning > and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really should > just go ahead and do it: > > From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones > (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to keep > your email server running. I don't think there's really any further > reason for me to provide commercial support.Alright Timo, where do I send the bill for my new keyboard? Mine is no ruined from the coffee I just spilled all over it... Rotflmao! Thanks, I needed that... -- Best regards, Charles
STOP TALKING AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!!1111elf Am 31.03.2012 23:28, schrieb Timo Sirainen:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an alternative plan: > > The support for Dovecot is quite good already, but wouldn't it be better if it was GUARANTEED that your email server was ALWAYS working with zero downtime or other problems? After some thinking, planning and consulting with my spiritual guides I realized I really should just go ahead and do it: > > From now on you can buy blessed Dovecot stones (http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone1.jpg), which are guaranteed to keep your email server running. I don't think there's really any further reason for me to provide commercial support. Probably the whole Dovecot mailing list will be pretty much useless after this as well, so I might as well stop posting there. If you have any problems, you'll just buy a Dovecot stone and the problem will go away. If for any reason that doesn't work, it means that your problem is more difficult than most and you need to buy a few more stones. Please remember that each shipment may take up to 3 weeks to reach you, so get your stones early and in sufficient quantities. > > A small email server will be happy enough with a single small Dovecot stone, but the more users you have the more stones you'll likely need. This is because most people are rather unhappy with their lives, and they project their negative energies towards their surroundings, including their email servers. To overcome this negative energy you need to have a counterbalancing positive energy, which the Dovecot stones will provide you. > > The Dovecot stones are hand painted from the finest materials available to the sister of the author of Dovecot that she could find in the local shops. Each stone contains such love and dedication towards the well being of Dovecot that you will shed tears when you lay your eyes upon their physical being. The images provided here unfortunately don't do justice to them. > > http://www.dovecot.org/tmp/stone2.jpg - This is how i keep my home desktop running all day every day. I have NEVER broken a single hard drive in my life. I don't even bother to keep backups, because I KNOW it is useless for me. > > A small Dovecot stone can be bought for 10 euros, a medium sized stone for 100 euros and a large stone for 500 euros. Each large stone can usually handle around 1000-2000 users before you need to buy more. If you have millions of users we'll need to find you a larger rock from my parents' backyard. There are only a limited number of such rocks available (we disposed of most of them to our neighbors' yards years ago), so their prices need to be negotiated in advance.
On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 2:28 PM, Timo Sirainen <tss at iki.fi> wrote:> For the last few days I've been thinking about my company and what it really should do, and as much as the current plan seems reasonable, I think in good conscience I really can't help but to bring up an alternative plan: > >...I'm slightly concerned that there's been no mention of what license these stones are going to be released under. GPL2? GPL3? Apache? I'm just hoping these aren't some sort of "open core" stones that will only work for basic features but that I'll end up needing to buy "Enterprise-grade stones" to cover large clusters.