Rails - Dec 2008 - many to many and delete question

I have a "has_and_belongs_to_many" relationship between two tables,
meaning I have a join table that contains the two ids of each table.

For simplicity let''s call them "foo" and "bar". I
want to delete a bar
from a foo but not actually delete the bar itself.

foo = Foo.find(1)
bar = Bar.find(1)

foo.bars << bar
foo.bars.delete(bar) # actually deletes the bar record which I don''t
want

so what should I do to remove the association, but retain the bar
record?

thanks
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But the above wont delete the bar record But delete only the 
association.
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